Ahhhh, divine spirit, I reaaaaally love healthy boundaries
Understanding what we are consciously or unconsciously allowing in our lives also highlights how we are curating our energy flow!
Yet boundaries is such a big topic!
Boundaries communicate how we share our energy with those in our world?
How do we give, or receive from our partners, our family, our collaborators, our friends or ourselves? Here’s the thing… I love healthy boundaries.
♡ I love what boundaries create over time.
♡ I love what finding a new boundary uncovers in me…
♡ I love the clarity they create in partnership, friendships & family
I believe boundaries help us to listen to our true internal voice,
don’t believe our energy is “limited” yet like a treasure, if we do not value our energy & wisdom, it is often spent in areas that do not multiply or enhance our energy
So can boundaries be unhealthy?
The truth is, we never really truly know what is going on within another person, we can only examine our own experience…
Yet sometimes, decisions or boundaries required and created years ago may sometimes be outdated, and actually closing off some of the beautiful experiences of life.
I love realising when a boundary isn’t required anymore because I’ve somehow embodied a deep sense of worth that make that behaviour that used to trigger me, well sort of mean nothing about me anymore…
So what are boundaries ~ lovelines?
Boundaries are thresholds where we don’t want to enter, or where we don’t want another person to enter. They may be guidelines, limits, or ways we want to (and expect) to be treated.
Boundaries offer in two directions and in any interaction they influence the interactions we have with others.
Often, we don’t even know we need to create boundaries, we may never have had to about a certain thing… until we realise we need to!
Expressing clearly about what does & doesn’t work for us requires defining the different types of boundaries there are.
Defining where they apply.
And who they apply with!
As business owners, good boundaries help us to stay neutral in a healthy therapeutic relationship where we value ourselves, our time & our energy.
We learn to not over-identify with the pains of our clients, but offer them therapeutic love. And we learn how to hold our own selves and reality.
I used to approach boundaries as the sort of person who thought I would find the key rule or guideline to life.
That maybe if I was able to communicate “good enough” that I wouldn’t have to have any more “difficult conversations…”
Writing this I’m reflecting on one of the first times I had to have an intentional difficult conversation about boundary crossing (instead of ignoring it, or turning it inwards or exploding) ~ all things I was quite prone to doing at the time…
My mentor at the time told me to prepare what I was going to say so I could speak clearly… but do you think I could do that?
So how to we use lovelines responsibily?
We do our best to do our own inner work and take responsibility for our own part…
For example, did we say yes when we meant no?
Did we communicate what we needed, or did we expect the other person/s to just read our mind?
We do our best to do our own inner work and take responsibility for our own part…
Except for a few reaaaallllyyy weird situations that still stump me, where my heart couldn’t be heard if I tried, speaking from my heart has worked for me.
I still remember the first time I had to set a conscious boundary
(rather than a reaction or explosion at someone…)
I spent a sleepless night (and the day before) trying to make the words I needed to say perfect… Yet somewhere along the way, I realised I had to just speak with my heart & let my words be incorrect & messy… as long as that heart energy was there, well I knew I had honoured myself, whatever the outcome.
At first setting lovelines literally felt like dying.
Then sloooowwwwly, over time, I was like… difficult conversations are good.
- They honour me & they honour the other person/people.
- They help people know where they stand with me, there’s no pretending, masking or fakeness
- Everyone is responsible for their own energy.
- Each person can make a genuine decision about their capacity given the circumstances.
(We used to talk about scope creep back in the day when I did consulting…. you would agree to a project that would end up being so much more work because clear parameters weren’t set, one or more parties didn’t realise the amount of work there was to be done, or one or more parties was too scared to have a real conversation about the scope creeping….)
So You probably noticed i’m OBSESSED with energy.
Your energy, my energy, our energy as a collective…
So it’s probably no surprise that each time I discover a layer where my energy is being directed, taken, or offered in a way that just is not ok with my essence, I enter a process of working out where I’m not moving towards liberation & sovereignty.
- ♡ Like a knowing that I am so lovingly creating my space & honouring myself
- ♡ Like recognising that what I need and how I ask for this from others will change over time…
But, nope ~ it turns out that’s not the way it works for me!
Instead, I’m in a process of embodiment each & every day.
I’m learning to listen to my body and create space for her to speak & create.
I’m trying to do this all with love…
